What is love?

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The definition of love varies from person to person. Everyone has their own perception of what love is, how it should feel like, and how it should look and sound. Some perceptions are a result of one’s pedigree, experience, social relations, skills, who raised them, and how they were raised. Another reason that is often dismissed is the generation to which one belongs. At the time of this article, we can have Gen Z, the millennial or the alpha generation. Their perceptions vary. The people who are around us also influence our perceptions of love, and as they say, you are who you surround yourself with.

Image by Karolina Grabowska from Pixabay

To some love is ice cold because nobody showed them the warm side of love growing up to not make them dependent and weak. Some men grew up in hostile environments where they were supposed to be given tough love which is equal to no love at all, so that they’d grow up to stand up for themselves. To them, love is a sign of vulnerability which is equivalent to being less masculine or also termed as being soft. This is one of the reasons that could make one turn out giving the cold kind of love. For some love is warm, too warm, it burns and when it burns it becomes an obsession, which is destructive to self and to others. It is a kind of life and death concept, a sense of possessiveness that is usually so strong. Life is always on the line, if the ones you love are depending on you for survival you are in for some trouble like monopolizing people and being canal and being part of the commonly used phrase “I can’t live without you”.

When some set their minds to this it’s hard to go back. Love should just be in the right amount. There’s no scale to which love is measured, so when you know you know. To some giving love is no issue, receiving love is where they draw the line. They draw a borderline around their heart though I do not deem it physically possible but mentally it is possible, belief by choice or circumstances becomes a reality. The power of the subconscious mind makes, breaks, and mends but many have yet to understand the influence it has on who we are. Some confuse feelings with love, feelings of loneliness, fitting in, lust, desire, conquests, and many more. If you confuse the two and enter into a relationship whether romantic or any other you might be on the losing end. Some may ask how you know the difference between the two, well, love will always stand the test of time but feelings fade with time. They also change with the seasons. There are more perspectives I could wish to exhaust but I’ll just indulge you in mine, love is a decision, it’s a choice, it’s a sacrifice of self and embracing another to make a ‘we’.

Love is intentional, love is pure, love is death to self and birth to relationship feeling warmth reliance, teamwork, role-playing, dependency, inclusivity and so much more. Love is a beautiful thing but it takes a lot of work to stay beautiful, it requires stewardship at its best. Many times we make the decision to love with our best interests in mind, true love is different because if you cannot think of your interests without thinking of them first, selflessness becomes a vocabulary in your dictionary. It requires a fighting spirit, you have to fight even when what you fighting for is hanging by the thread and too close to the edge, choosing to accept the small room they offer you when you can have a whole mansion in someone else’s heart, choosing to call in and check in on him when you know it can’t be reciprocated, am talking about of an unconditional love which is not dependant on reciprocation, it is not a give and take but it is a give and give to give again. These are just things that you have to go through when laying the foundation, you don’t just wake up one morning and have a beautiful union that is enviable.

If your love is going to last through the tough times then you need to put in blood, sweat, tears, and heart, you’re going to lose family, friends, and work, but it all truly depends on how far your willing to go for the sake of your love. Are you willing to pay the price of being with them? Are you willing to venture into the unknown with both of you as captains and God as the navigator? No one is going to teach you how to love so falling will be inevitable but standing up again will be a choice it may sound and look complicated but once you find your way, victory tastes better than wine.

Not by might not by power but by the spirit of God.

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